When addressing a letter/invite, can you list it as Mrs. & Mr. Smith, if the primary addressee is Mrs. Smith?

Mr. and Mrs. is the standard, unless you think the Mrs. would be totally offended by you putting her second, in wich case you may want to make the faux pas and put her first. But if she really is that uptight she might cringe and the thought of you adressing it backwards. ... decisions, decisions!!!





you can put Mrs. so and so ,.... and guest. But if she is married, its more common to put Mr. first.
When addressing a letter/invite, can you list it as Mrs. %26amp; Mr. Smith, if the primary addressee is Mrs. Smith?
That is not proper etiquette and one reason is that "Smith" was his name before she married him.


An exception would be if it was to John Smith's mother, and to John Smith, Jr. (say she was a widow), then it would read: Mrs John Smith %26amp; Mr. John Smith, Jr.





Additional: The standard is, if you are writing to a married couple to put Mr %26amp; Mrs on the envelop, but inside start the letter with "Dear Mary and John". Both have top billing, as it were, for the letter as a whole.
Reply:No it is always Mr %26amp; Mrs
Reply:Oh no always Mr. first when addressing invites or letters.
Reply:Mr. and Mrs. Smith is the norm...but hey,sounds like she rules the roost,so why not?!


;-)
Reply:If the primary addressee is Mrs. Smith, why bring Mr. Smith into it at all? If it's an invitation, you could include a line to the effect that spouses or significant others are welcome. If it's a letter, you could end it by saying, 'give my regards to George' or whatever his name is, but you don't have to address it to both of them if it isn't intended for both.


If it IS intended for both, then it has to be Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It isn't fair, but that's the way the world of etiquette goes....