Is it okay to invite your mother to visit at a hotel instead of your house? No plans to show me the new house.

My daughter and her husband of 4 years just bought a new house and I suggested visiting her in the Spring in Chicago because I haven't seen her in 4 years. It's a 4 bedroom house and they don't have any children.





I flew to Chicago in the past and stayed at a hotel and we never met with her husband or saw her previous house either. We have a great time shopping and seeing the sights, but isn't this situation a little strange? Apparently, she treasures her privacy. Your thoughts are appreciated.
Is it okay to invite your mother to visit at a hotel instead of your house? No plans to show me the new house.
Have you let her know that you want to see her house? Make sure you make that clear. Make sure she knows well in advance that that's going to be a part of your plan if you visit. If she doesn't want to let you stay at her home I could understand. Maybe her husband feels uncomfortable with you around, maybe she doesn't want to be burdened with having a house guest. It's a full-time job watching over house guests sometimes. If you haven't told her that you want to see her house, then she may think that you're not interested in it.





There's many good and bad reasons why she may not want you in her house. First look at yourself...HONESTLY. Maybe she's afraid you'll criticize her (It's too big, too small, too dirty, not decorated well, too expensive). Do you do this? Have you been known to take things(even if it's little things)? Have you been known to snoop around? Have you been known to clean up after her (she may not want anyone cleaning her things for her)? It might not be you at all, but don't dismiss yourself as the problem.





She could also fear that if you see her home you'll pressure her about having kids or you may take an interest in moving in with her.





Then there's the problem that something is wrong. Like others have suggested, abuse or lying. She could be lying that she's in a big house, she could be lying that she's still with her husband, or maybe her husband has kids from a previous marriage?.





If you have made it clear that you want to see her home and don't intend to stay at her home overnight then there is certainly a problem. She's hiding something from you. Whether it be a quirk that you have that's she doesn't want to admit to you or something wrong in her life there's an issue.
Reply:This is very strange, it seems to me that your daughter is hiding something and she doesn't want you to find out about it. I find it strange that she doesn't want you to visit her home, that's kind of insulting. Maybe your daughter is not living the kind of life that you think she is, maybe her marrage is in trouble, maybe she doens't really have a house for you to come to, she could be an abused wife, maybe that is why her husband didn't show up. It seems that your daughter is not telling you that her life is not as picture perfect as she would have you believe. She likes to have privacy but it just seems as if shes being sneaky, you should confront her. Good luck.
Reply:She is hiding something from you.





There is not a true relationship there and it seems to be one sided.





You are her mother and her not wanting you to be a part of her life and keeping you from her home is not what a relationship should be between mother and daughter.
Reply:What does she say when you mention wanting to see the house? Maybe she thinks you wont like it? Something is off. Talk to her about it.
Reply:i find this to be really odd.? and sad I would personally be devastated my children have shunned me in the past and have chosen their mother (my ex) over myself. GOD BLESS YOU